


Fairy Tale Mixup

by uruvielnumenesse



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack AU, F/M, Into the Woods fusion, yeah um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 05:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13540335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uruvielnumenesse/pseuds/uruvielnumenesse
Summary: Theres really no words other than I was really into Into the Woods at one point and Thor. Yes this is purely indulgent and crack.





	Fairy Tale Mixup

Long ago in a land far far away, there were two women. Two women who entered the wrong stories.

“Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your long hair!” A young maiden with dark tresses of her own called up into the doorless tower. She smirked as she remembered the first time she christened her oldest friend with that name.

“That’s not even my name, Cinderella!” A voice snidely said but did as the maiden requested. Falling and falling, long strands of light brown hair fell to the feet of the young maiden. The owner of the hair peeked out her window and placed some of her braided hair on a hook for leverage.

“Yeah, well, the day you stop calling me Cinder-Ella, I shall stop calling you Rapunzel.” The maiden said smiling. Grabbing the hair, the maiden tugged a bit before sticking her foot to the wall. The maiden continued to climb until she reached the top of the tower and was brought inside the tower.

Panting, the maiden dusted off her humble, dusty dress. Regaining her breath, she straightened and went to hug her friend.

“It’s good to see you, Jane.” The maiden said fondly as her long haired friend embraced her. When the two women pulled away, Jane’s brown eyes immediately focused on the maiden’s colored cheek.

“You are hurt.” Jane gently placed her delicate, for everything about her was delicate because hello she has been trapped in this damned tower for forever, on her friend’s cheek.

“It was an accident.” The maiden said. Madam’s daughters were furious that she tightened the corsets too tight. In all honesty, the maiden was surprised that she wasn’t punished more severely.

Jane scowled, “Darcy, why do you stay with those horrid women.” The long tressed woman moved her friend to her bed, the one where she spends most of her days daydreaming.

Darcy sighed.

“Believe me, Jane, if it was simple, I would have surely left the first time.”

But it was not simple. Her family was so indebted to this vile woman that her father had to marry her. And when he died, Darcy was left all alone to repay all debts. The brunette was an unpaid maid in the woman’s household and did any jobs that the woman commanded her to do.

“I wish you did not have to go back.” Jane said quietly.

“Well, if I didn’t go back then I wouldn’t have any news to bring to you.” Darcy lightly said. She got off the bed and rummaged through the satchel that she carried on her back when she climbed into the tower. Darcy pulled out a letter, one she had stolen from Madam and showed it to her friend.

“I can’t read it, but I thought you might want to see it." 

Tentatively touching the already open letter, Jane quickly read the contents and gasped excitedly. She thrusted the letter onto her friend’s chest.

"The Queen is having a festival!” She exclaimed happily, a grin enveloped her face, making the usually serious young woman glow. 

“A festival?” Darcy asked then muttered under her breathe, “so that’s why Madam has me running all these errands.”

“Aye,” Jane replied, before grabbing Darcy and twirling her around ever mindful of her dark hair. “The queen wants to find her sons women to wed.”

“The princes?” Darcy asked again. Jane nodded and brought her friend to a stand still. The women halted in front of a stack of books.

“Do you wish to go to the festival?”

“More anything~” Darcy started, but was interrupted by Jane’s groan.

“Darcy please don’t.” Jane pleaded half jokingly. Her nearest and dearest had a strange habit of bursting into song whenever it suited her. Thankfully Jane never caught that quaint trait. Darcy ignored her and had a far away look in her eyes.

“More than life~” For surely sneaking out of the house and going to the festival without Madam’s permission would cost her her life.

“More than jewels~” Darcy moved towards the window and stared out into the woods that surrounded Jane’s tower.

“The queen is having festival, so how shall you go?” Jane asked, thankfully stopping her friend’s singing.

Darcy furrowed her brows and shrugged.

“I do not know.”

Then she sighed. “Does not matter, though, Madam would never allow it.”

“Darcy-” Jane moved to comfort her friend, but jumped back as Darcy suddenly stilled. Her eyes gleamed with a manic idea, one that Jane wasn’t prepared to hear.

“I may not be able to go….but you can." 

Jane gaped and sputtered at her friend. What? How did this turn to her? She was perfectly content to be in her tower, alone with her books and Darcy as her daily human interaction.

"Why would I want to go to the festival?” Jane was curious. What caused Darcy to believe that she wanted to attend?

“The royal palace has a library,” Darcy coyly said, “and don’t tell me that you are satisfied with your own books.”

Even if I cannot go, you can go and enjoy yourself, Darcy thought.

She gestured towards the piles of worn, torn and loved books. Books that were filled with things about the sky above them. Books that were the only reminder of the wizard who locked Jane in her tower.

Jane opened her mouth and shut it. Books. Perhaps the royal library contained books on the bright stars that shined brightly at night. Jane smiled but then frowned.

“What’s wrong, Jane?” Darcy frowned as well. Had she pushed her isolated friend too far?

“My hair.” Jane began to pace with her arms crossed.

“Your hair?” Darcy echoed confused. What about her hair?

Jane gestured wildly to her hair which circled the room twice and hung to the floor even while braided tightly. Darcy’s mouth formed an o. She understood. Could Jane even get out of the tower with her hair as long as northern river?

“I can’t go. Not unless we find a way to bundle my hair up.” Jane cried out frustrated. Damned hair.

Following her friend’s agitated movements, and mesmerized by Jane’s long hair, Darcy blurted out, 

“What if you cut your hair?”

Silence prevailed in the room, but Jane whirled around.

“Cut my hair? That’s brilliant!" 

Jane began to look around for a pair of scissors, and after some time Darcy got off her bed and joined her.

Several hours past, and the sky darkens before the two are able to find a something to cut Jane’s hair with. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?” Darcy asks once more as Jane sits on the edge of her bed, stiffly awaiting.

“More than anything~” Jane sing songs smiling softly. She and Darcy share a secret glance than Darcy hesitantly begins to shear off hair.

The sounds of hair falling to the floor encompasses the room until Darcy stops. Long thick strands of dark hair lay before Jane’s feet.

“There, all done.” Jane stands up and is immediately so light headed that she stumbled forward.

“Whoa!" 

Jane clutches the bed post and waits. This has never happened before. Of course, Jane’s mind quickly searches for the answer. Her hair was so heavy that Jane had to consciously lean forward to balance herself. Now it was a habit that she must train herself out of.

"Alright?” Darcy’s tone is filled with concern.

“Yes, just takes time to get used to. Thank you, my friend” Jane’s laugh is airy and light hearted. There are tears of happiness in Jane’s eyes that causes Darcy to tear up as well.

“You’re welcome, my friend.” Darcy is surprised when Jane hugs the life out of her. Between the two of them, Jane was never one to initiate contact but that never stopped her from hugging back.

“Now go! Before the Queen’s festival is over!” She gently pushes her friend towards the window. It only takes a moment for Darcy to tie the remnants of Jane’s hair to the hook outside the tower, and to hand Jane her own hair.

“I shall be back before midnight!” Jane promises as she climbs out the window for the first time ever.

—————————————————————————————

Darcy was bored. After Jane left, Darcy spent some time exploring the room but even that seemed less interesting after a time. She also skimmed the books that Jane was constantly reading. Laying on Jane’s bed, Darcy began to sing, eagerly awaiting her friend’s return.

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.” Darcy started to idly braid her hair and moved to sit on the window ledge. Unaware of the eyes and ears who found her.

—————————————————————————————

“Oh, it’s almost midnight!” Jane looked to the sky as she ran down the palace stairs, trying to evade the palace guards and the prince who shouted for her. 

The prince whom she danced with all night and had many heartening discussions with. The prince whose green eyes followed her every step the second she entered the ballroom. The prince who stopped every attempt to reach the library.

“Stop her!” The prince shouted towards his knights. He, too, began to walk down the stairs but Jane was faster.

Sprinting away, Jane ran into the woods and managed to invade the prince…only to run into another person.

“I’m so sorry!” Jane groaned as she rolled off the person. Jane’s brow raised when she saw it was another woman. A woman with bright red hair and freckles adorning her face.

“It’s alright, my dear.” The woman with the flaming hair hauled herself up and wiped the dirt off her hands. Jane was about to say more but the sounds of hooves thundered through the woods making Jane hid amongst the trees.

It was the prince. 

“Have you seen a maiden dressed in the finest of dresses come through the forest?” The prince asked the red haired woman.

“No,” The woman seemed unimpressed with the prince. The prince eyed this woman and sneered at her.

“Whatever peon.” He muttered under his breath, and then to his men, “she is not here, continue on.”

The prince and his companions rode off, leaving Jane alone with the unknown woman.

“You have my thanks!” Jane told the woman as she stepped away from the foliage. She winced as one of her ankles rolled.

“The prince is as arrogant as my husband, Tony. It would do him some good to actually do his own work.” The woman rolled her eyes as she thought of her blacksmith husband. Her husband who was trying to undo the family curse.

Then her eyes spotted Jane’s shining golden shoe. 

“I’m sorry but I must go!” Jane looked apologetic but lifted the hems of her dress and ran off.

“The golden slipper! Wait I need your slipper!” The woman called out but to no avail, Jane was gone.

—————————————————————————————

Thor, tired and hunger, was eager to return back to the palace after months of negotiation with the Jotuns. After his blunder and readiness for war, as punishment, Thor was stripped of his rights to be king and was forced to bring peace between his kingdom and Laufey’s.

The golden haired prince frowned as he looked at the unfamiliar surroundings. He gently made his horse halt near a river.

Cupping handfuls of water, Thor quenched his thirst and allowed his steed to rest. It was during this time that he heard the most beautiful sound of sounds.

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah” The sound echoed hauntingly through the woods and it entranced Thor.

He followed the voice to a tower which strangely had no doors nor stairs.

Crouching behind some hedges, Thor closed his eyes and listened to the sounds. 

—————————————————————————————

“Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your long hair!” Jane called out. The light haired brunette waited for her friend to release the hair.

Just as her friend usual did, Darcy opened the window and allowed Jane’s hair to tumble down. 

Cautious of her injured foot, Jane slowly made her way up the tower. 

—————————————————————————————

Rapuzel is her name, Thor dreamily thought as he mounted his horse and headed toward the palace.

—————————————————————————————

“Had that much fun Jane?” Darcy snickered as Jane faceplanted into the bed. 

“Mmhhm” Jane mumbled sleepily. She wiggled around until there was enough room for the both of them to lay down.

“Can’t stay, Jane. Madam is going to wonder where I am.” Darcy was not looking forward to the chores tomorrow. Maybe she will call upon the birds to assist her.

“Be careful then. Night Darce.” Jane tiredly waved her friend goodbye as Darcy descended the tower.

—————————————————————————————

Dawn is breaking when two brothers ride by each other. One heads west away from the palace and the other goes to the east toward the palace.

“Brother!” Thor called out loudly, scaring the nearby forest creatures. He turns his white horse back. 

Loki struggled to hold back his sneer as his bumbling oaf of an older brother passed by him. The crown prince was exhausted after spending all night searching for the maiden. And after a moments decision, he too makes his horse return back. 

“Hello Thor.” Loki places his self assured grin on and greets his brother.

“What brings you out here, Loki?” Thor inquires, wasn’t Loki suppose to stay in the palace during the festival?

“A most beautiful maiden who is lost to me.” Loki admits. He scowls when Thor laughs heartily.

“I am sorry to correct you, but the maiden I found is the most beautiful one I have ever laid eyes on.” Thor sighs as he thinks of the maiden whom he has never spoken too.

“Idiot,” Loki says. Then he begins to think of the maiden who continues to evade him and his guards for the second time.

Did I abuse her  
Or show her disdain?  
Why does she run from me?  
If I should lose her,  
How shall I regain  
The heart she has won from me?

Agony!  
Beyond power of speech,  
When the one thing you want  
Is the only thing out of your reach.

Loki sang as he moved away from his brother and horse. The crown prince clutched at his heart. 

Not to be outdone, Thor began to sing as well. His low, baritone voice extended out in all directions.

High in her tower,  
She sits by the hour,  
Maintaining her hair.  
Blithe and becoming and frequently humming  
A lighthearted air:  
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-

Agony!  
Far more painful than yours,  
When you know she would go with you  
If there only were doors.

————————————————————————————-

What is that noise? Darcy thought to herself as she lugged the jugs of water back to Madam’s house. 

AGONY!

That particular word causes Darcy to flinch and drop the jugs cracking them and spilling water everywhere.

“By the gods!” She cursed. Darcy wanted to cry, from the moment the sun appeared, she had been doing chores and now her body ached.

Angry at herself, Darcy grabs a piece of the cracked jugs and threw it against a tree. Unfortunately she misses and hits flesh because someone cries out.

“Oh no!” Darcy cries out, running in the direction of the flying piece. As she nears the source of the sound, she discovers it’s a man with golden hair who is clutching his hand and glaring at a dark haired man.

A dark haired man who continues to sing without noticing the golden haired man’s injured hand.

Am I not sensitive,  
Clever,  
Well-mannered,  
Considerate,  
Passionate,  
Charming,  
As kind as I’m handsome  
And heir to a throne?

The dark haired man asked his golden haired companion who sarcastically answered back.

You are everything maidens could wish for!

Apparently, everything was fine, so Darcy bit her lip and slowly retreated back to the well known path in the woods.

At least that was the plan till she stepped on a branch and bringing the attention of the two men unto her.

Like a deer hearing a strange sound, Darcy could only stand still paralyzed by the gazes leveled on her person.

“Hello.” She tried to smile but the look of disdain on the dark haired man’s face prevented her from doing so.

The other man’s face, however, brightened so much that Darcy could only compare it to looking at the sun. The man, who was so tall and muscular, grinned and rapidly closed the distance between him and Darcy.

“It is you!” The man says much to Darcy’s puzzlement. When looks of surprise and curiosity are aimed at him, Thor hurries to explain himself.

“The maiden who sings in a tower. I know that voice anywhere!" 

Darcy placed a hand over her mouth and blushes embarrassedly. He heard her singing? Only Jane has ever heard her sing.

Much to Thor’s delight, Darcy smiled shyly at him. Of course, Darcy was inwardly cursing at herself. When, aside from dealing with Madam, had she ever been a shy, damsel? Hmm? Never.

"H-how did you come across the tower, good sir?” Darcy aimed the question at Thor. 

“I was lost in the woods when your voice guided me back into a well known path.” Thor said.

Darcy nodded, twas true that the tower was close to a path that lead out of the woods. It was a wonder that Jane’s tower was not discovered sooner.

“May I ask how you left the tower if there were no doors to be seen?” Thor asked as he reached half way for Darcy’s hand. He waited for Darcy’s permission before gently holding the small, calloused hands in his own large hands.

“I climbed down the tower using my friend’s hair.” She replied. Thor tilted his head in such a way that it reminded Darcy of the hounds that Madam had causing her to giggle.

“It was not your own hair?” Now that he truly looked, Thor saw that the maiden’s hair was shades darker than than the hair that leaned against the tower.

“Nay, it was my friend Jane’s hair. She had recently cut it to attend the Queen’s festival.” Darcy didn’t understand why she so easily divulged this information. There was something so earnest about this golden haired man that any thoughts of lying or hiding the truth was immediately chased away.

Thor was briskly shoved away from Darcy and was replaced by Loki who got in her face.

“This Jane, does she wear a gold slipper?” He demanded, causing Darcy to shrink back and for Thor to shout. Empowered by the golden man, Darcy snarled back

“And who are you to demand answers in such a manner?" 

"I am Prince Loki of Asgard and I am burdened with a quest.” Loki cooly retorted. 

Darcy paled swiftly. Oh dear! She just spoke against the crown prince. 

“Aye, she wore a gold dress with gold slippers to the festival." 

Loki nodded, "Thank you.”

He walked away, mounted his horse, and rode towards the tower leaving Darcy and Thor alone.

Eyeing nearly everything but Thor, Darcy stuck her hand out, “My name name is Darcy and I work as a maid for Madam Amora.”

Taking Darcy’s hand and placing a kiss on it, Thor revealed his own identity.

“I am Thor, second prince of Asgard." 

"Oh!” Was there something in the woods that caused Darcy to meet TWO princes in one day?

Then Darcy was once again shocked when Thor knelt down.

“Lady Darcy, as you captured my heart, may I too capture yours?” Thor asked sincerely. 

Was he asking to marry her? After only meeting her once? Such a strange man, Darcy thought fondly.

Kneeling down so that her eyes bore into the prince’s eyes, Darcy said the one word that would change her fate forever.

“Yes.”

Effortlessly pulling Darcy up Thor twirled her around. Laughing freely, Darcy wrapped her arms around Thor’s neck and kissed him passionately. 

They lived happily ever after, along side the never boring couple of Jane and Loki.

Of course their ever after was rudely interrupted when a giant green beast rampaged through the kingdom, but alas that is another story for another time.


End file.
